Of Morals and Morality

Sometimes I wonder whether morality is just a lack of imagination. Maybe it is just the inability to break free from the ‘values’ or the constructions of good and bad that the society has ingrained in us. It is possible to justify anything and everything. In the end it makes one wonder whether there is anything such as ‘good’ or ‘bad’. Right and wrong is not a universal truth but it is just one view point that society has adopted and which its members accept.

Somewhere in the long history of mankind, society decided that monogamy is a good thing. However, I know very few people who are strictly monogamous. Most of the people I know have never ‘physically’ cheated but that does not mean that they have never felt anything for a person of opposite sex inspite of being ‘in a relationship’. I know people who have trained themselves to never indulge in ‘unfaithful’ thoughts. But I wonder at what stage you cross the yardstick of being faithful. Thinking a guy is cute is ok but thinking about kissing the guy is not. For some, thinking about anything is ok but acting upon it not. Don’t these demarcations look artificial? In the end, the concept of monogamy and being faithful appears to promote hypocrisy. Since no one can read your thought you can indulge yourself in your imagination but if you actually do something then it will be unfaithfulness.

However, on the other hand, open relationships appear to be meaningless to me. I do not see them as wrong. In fact I admire people who can feel secure and content in such a relationship. But I don’t see the point of sharing myself with someone unless I know the person is mine.

Another moral standard which puzzles me is respect for elders. No matter what a being idiot or what a despicable a person is, you are supposed to respect the person just because he was born before you. I have been in so many conversations where the ‘elders’ are talking nonsense but I get scolded if I argue with them. You are supposed to be rude, arrogant, impolite and ill-mannered if you merely state your point of view which contradicts an ‘elder’.

Some of these norms seem to have been built to avoid unpleasantness. Women should shut up before men. And kids should shut before adults. Everyone should start discussing dinner if two people start arguing.

Also, what problem does the society have with just simple, innocent fun? It you want to go to see new places with your friends then your family gets scared and think you are slipping from their control. I have been told in accusatory tunes – ‘bahut ghumne lagi ho’. Well, yes I have, and I intend to keep doing so. I love going to new places and I don’t see what is wrong in that. If I am ‘awara’ then so be it but I hate being inside and I refused to be confined in my room till my body is too exhausted.

Among all the things, the most irritating thing is double standards of the society. Men roam around with their disgustingly hairy legs in shortest of shorts and it is acceptable. However, if a girl wears a short skirt then she gets disapproving (and other) looks. Also, why are women forced to undergo more pain than men? Men are not expected to get their eyebrows made or get waxing done but women have to pretend that their body never had any hair. Men are not expected to paint their faces but women have to be painted like a peacock in order to be considered attractive.

In last, I do not like the morals, traditions and culture imposed on me which wants me to behave in a particular way and accept certain standards as right. I believe I have the intelligence to decide what is right and wrong (if there is anything like that) and find my own moral standards.